I love home improvement shows. My creativity sparks a fire in a way I can’t explain as I see a transformation within a house. Often, this inspires change within my own home. Recently, I was inspired enough to roll up my sleeves and embark on what I thought was a minor repair in our bathroom. I was going to recaulk the shower. Easy enough, right? Little did I know that my “great idea” would spawn into a full bathroom update.
Apparently, in 1982, and as I found out later in 2002, when this bathroom was last updated, measurements for a shower insert are much different than in 2023. So my little mold find has now transpired into a costly custom shower build, sigh. I am a” find the silver lining’ kind of gal, though.
Through this process, I have learned some precious lessons:
The first is everything is figuroutable. Sure, it is more time, money, and inconvenience, but through the trial, there are always solutions to get things fixed. Sometimes, things don’t always break in our time, but resourcefulness can lead to better solutions.
Another valuable lesson has been nothing ever stays the same. After my husband removed the flooring, we saw the bathroom’s original layout. The days of linoleum and a pony wall were gone. I looked at where these items once stood and wondered how involved the original owners were in this build. What were their reasons for updating in 2002? Will someone else remodel from what I have 21 years from now? Will these same questions be asked then?
Finally, what is considered timeless? As we met with many contractors and design specialists, we were met with every shade of gray, black, and white option you can imagine. If you stepped into our home, you would see 70 shades of brown instead of 50 shades of gray. Interestingly enough, this became somewhere where I learned to use my voice. No, I wasn’t going to go with the trend. No, I didn’t need more time to “think about it.” No, I am not ever going to regret it. Even when I describe my style as “Old world Zen,” I was met with resistance in wanting to do it the way that feels good and true to me. A powerful lesson was taught about being convicted of who I am and my preferences.
Ah, yes, even bathrooms can teach lessons.
I identify as an emerging writer. As I was sharing this thought with my advisor this past week, I was questioned as to why I identify as “emerging.” I believe I am beyond capable of writing; however, I don’t have the confidence to share my feelings or use my voice. This is how this blog started. It is a personal project to find my confidence and voice and rise from an emerging level.
Honestly, this is one of the most stretching projects I have embarked on. Much of this comes from the false narrative of how things “should” be. Am I qualified? Do I have anything of value to add? What if I offend someone? These are all thoughts that I have had about writing and using my voice. These thoughts often paralyze me. Once I decide to pull up my confidence pants, I start thinking (okay, really, this is my business brain on turbo) about, “Maybe I should put SEO on it.”, “Maybe I should create a workshop.”, “Maybe I should create some type of call to action.” I had a mentor once who said, “Quit shoulding all over yourself!” Ah, yes, breathe.
I am learning that we each have a story to tell or share. Sometimes we have something to teach, and sometimes we have something to learn. I realize this published blog, which not many know exists (at this point) is a safe space for me to emerge from and grow in. I can put aside my fears and “shoulds” and really embrace the curiosity of writing what is on my heart and mind. So here we go again; I’m taking a deep breath and hitting publish.
